---
title: "Five questions to discuss with your partner before the wedding: a psychologist's advice"
description: "Psychologist Yulia Krasikhina told Styler about five questions a couple should discuss before the wedding: from envisioning the future and handling conflicts to money and family roles, as well as how to talk about difficult topics without quarreling."
date: 2026-09-18T06:34:33.000Z
lang: en
url: https://xab.info/en/posts/five-questions-to-discuss-before-marriage-psychologist-advice
tags: [marriage, relationships, psychology, family, love]
publisher: "XAB.info"
---

# Five questions to discuss with your partner before the wedding: a psychologist's advice

![Couple on a bench discussing important questions before marriage, with a ring box and hands in wedding rings near a registry office](https://xab.info/media/2026/09/19/voprosy-pered-brakom-sovety-psihologa/voprosy-pered-brakom-sovety-psihologa-1.webp)

## 🎯 Key Points

- Before marriage, a couple should discuss five topics: how they see their relationship in 5–10 years, how they resolve conflicts, money, family roles, and the ability to be honest with each other.
- Most conflicts in couples are tied to three themes — money, daily life, and sex — and the key factor is how the partners talk about them.
- For difficult conversations, the psychologist recommends three steps: choose a calm moment, talk about feelings instead of making accusations, and try to understand your partner's position.
- If you cannot reach a compromise on your own, the expert recommends turning to a family therapy specialist.

Before marriage, it is important to talk not only about love, but also about money, daily life, conflicts, intimate life, and your shared future. Being in love often creates the illusion that all difficulties can be solved later. However, as Yulia Krasikhina, a psychologist at the "Nezlamna" center and a Gestalt therapist, points out, family life consists not only of feelings but also of everyday decisions, agreements, and shared values. That is why she listed for Styler the topics a couple should discuss before heading to the civil registry office, and explained how to talk about uncomfortable issues without quarreling.

### Five key questions to ask before registering a marriage

The first question concerns the future: how the couple sees their relationship in 5–10 years, and whether their life goals and expectations of marriage align. The second is about conflicts: every couple argues, and what matters is not whether conflicts arise, but how the partners work through them and find solutions. The third question is financial: expenses, savings, and financial responsibility should be discussed in advance, since money often becomes a source of tension. The fourth is about family roles: household chores, domestic duties, careers, and raising children are best discussed before marriage, rather than after the first disappointments. The fifth is about the ability to be close: healthy relationships involve honesty, the ability to talk about feelings, and the absence of fear of judgment or rejection.

### Three topics around which conflicts most often arise

According to the expert, every couple has topics that sooner or later become a source of tension, and most conflicts relate in one way or another to three themes: money, daily life, and sex. In this case, the problem is usually not the topic itself, but how the partners talk about it. People often postpone uncomfortable conversations to avoid a fight, but unexpressed dissatisfaction does not disappear: it accumulates and over time may surface as complaints, insults, or emotional withdrawal.

### How to talk about difficult things: three practical steps

The first step is to choose the right moment: difficult issues are best discussed when both partners are calm, not in the middle of a conflict or strong stress. The second step is to talk about your own feelings and needs rather than blame: instead of "you never help me," it is more effective to say "I feel tired, and your support matters to me," which reduces the desire to defend oneself. The third step is to try to understand your partner's position: even when you disagree, it is important to listen without interrupting and to understand what lies behind their words. At the same time, there are no winners or losers in a couple, and the goal of the conversation is not to prove you are right, but to find a solution that meets both partners' needs.

### When to seek professional help

As Yulia Krasikhina summarizes, open conversations can be difficult, but it is precisely they that help build trust, maintain closeness, and prevent the buildup of resentment — sometimes one calm and honest conversation does more for a relationship than dozens of mutual complaints. If a couple cannot reach a compromise on its own, it is appropriate to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist specializing in family therapy and working with couples. In her words, before marriage one should ask not only "do I love this person?" but also "can we work through difficult life issues together, once the infatuation gives way to real life?".

## 🔍 Fact-Check Verification

- [What questions to ask your partner before the wedding: advice from psychologist Yulia Krasikhina](https://styler.rbc.ua/ukr/useful/ki-pitannya-postaviti-kohanomu-pered-pohodom-1789709622.html) - Первичный источник: перечень из пяти вопросов до брака, три основные темы конфликтов (деньги, быт, секс), три шага для сложных разговоров и рекомендация обратиться к семейному терапевту. Имя эксперта — Юлия Красихина, психологиня центра «Незламна», гештальт-терапевтка.

## ❓ FAQ

### Q: What five questions should a couple discuss before marriage?
**A:** According to psychologist Yulia Krasikhina, these are: how the couple sees their relationship in 5–10 years; how they will resolve conflicts; how they approach money and expenses; what they expect from family roles (household, career, children); and whether they can be honest with their partner.

### Q: What do couples most often argue about?
**A:** In the expert's assessment, most conflicts are tied to three themes: money, daily life, and intimate life. The problem, however, is usually not the topic itself, but how the partners talk about it.

### Q: How can you talk about uncomfortable topics without quarreling?
**A:** The expert advises choosing a calm moment, talking about your own feelings and needs instead of making accusations, and trying to understand your partner's position without interrupting. The goal of the conversation is not to prove you are right, but to find a mutually acceptable solution.

### Q: When should a couple seek professional help?
**A:** If you cannot reach a compromise on your own, the psychologist recommends turning to a psychologist or psychotherapist specializing in family therapy and working with couples.